Just Another Day in the Country

The Accused

Crime Scene

The Victim

This is what happens when you have a soft heart for animals in distress. I look out my window and notice this squirrel frantically trying to get OUT of a SQUIRREL- PROOF bird feeder. With her little butt and 2 rear legs stuck in the grid of the cage, she is twisting, and turning with all her might. I grab a ladder and a very thick towel (couldn't find the leather gloves that are ALWAYS within sight). Put ladder under feeder, climb up with towel on left arm, support squirrel who seems grateful to rest on my arm, place the feeder on top of the ladder - while I use my right hand to unhook the feeder from the chain holding it to tree. Easily done! Lift feeder to climb down ladder to place on the ground, and all hell breaks loose! The cage surrounding the tube feeder dislodges and squirrel freaks out, swings around and grabs hold of my right hand, which is holding the cage so it won't move as the squirrel is very much attached to it. OK - cage attached to squirrel, squirrel attached to me - I climb down the ladder to the ground, and try to unhinge it's little mouth from the base of my thumb. This is not happening fast - as it has locked on like vise grips and proceeeds to grind and crunch the knuckle of my thumb. The sound effects are quite amazing. It took 20 seconds to get her off my hand, as I grip her jaw with my left hand and pry her top teeth off first, followed by the bottom pair. I grab the towel with my right hand and throw it on top of the attacker, gripping it very firmly. Now what? iPhone is in house. Pick up feeder with squirrel (yes, I know I was no longer attached to animal - but I did not want it hurting itself anymore - trying to get out without help). I go into house, still holding feeder with the towel covered squirrel, get to phone - speed dial my BFF neighbor - Molly - give a brief scenario of what happened and ask her to bring some wire cutters! A few minutes later she rides up on her bicycle (not going to explain why) with tools in hand. With the hands of a skilled surgeon she quickly cuts a wire and releases the squirrel from cage. I still have the towel on her holding her down until Molly grabs a cat carrier, and we quickly place her sweet little traumatized body in it! I clean up my hand, Molly cleans up the blood all over my glass door, as it looks like a major crime has taken place here.

Next - we call Animal Control to see what needs to be done, in case of rabies. At this point the last thing I want to have done, is the little squirrel killed, so its head could be sent off for rabies testing. After all this pain and suffering (MINE) this squirrel is going to live! AC advises that squirrels RARELY have rabies, and that it is OK to release. Believe me - this is not a sick animal! It is very healthy and very strong! I grab my camera so I can take pics of all this -since no one is going to believe this! Secretly wishing it had been on video! :) :)

Molly and I take the cat carrier back to the scene of the crime, open the door and she FLIES out of the cage and is gone from sight in seconds!

I see my doctor - who wants to know why I just didn't leave it stuck in the feeder!! I think to myself - you are a doctor, a person who is supposed to save lives, and you tell me that! I told her that was not going to ever happen on my watch - and anyone who knows me - knows I would do it again - hopefully not with this much drama! A tetanus shot, antibiotics and a quick look by a hand specialist and I am good to go.

Note to self: Stop by Home Depot and get a good pair of thick leather gloves and tin snips to have on hand when (not if) the next event happens.